The Invisible Neighbor
by Wendy LeGate

Elizabeth French passed away September 1, 2005.

I had been Betty French's neighbor for almost five years before I ever met her.  I had been told she was crazy; a mentally ill woman who was a hoarder; a pet collector and someone not to get involved with.  I would find out later this information was not to be believed.

Her house was on the corner as you turned into our driveway off the road.  No one was ever out and about.  The weeds had taken over the yard and the horse pastures.   The lights were always off.  It was the sort of house that looked abandoned in many ways, so it was easy to put it out of mind quickly.  I had heard a person, or two, joke how they had seen old Betty French at the grocery store with unkind words that came so easily out of their mouths.

The first time I met Betty she had been taken from her home and placed in a nursing facility by a family member.  Betty, at 5 foot and 8 inches, weighed a little less than 80 pounds.  Shortly after I heard of her move, I visited Betty in the nursing home.  She was alert, although very weak, quite guarded with her trust and a bit on the defensive side.

A good hour had passed, when I found myself reflecting back on what I had been told about this woman before me.  She was loaded with hard-edged wit and a dry sense of humor.  Any residual ideas from other people that she was crazy were quickly dispelled from my mind.  To be honest,  I was a little intimidated by her.   I didn't quite know what to think, or expect, based on the things I had been told previously.  However, one visit with Betty led to another...and another.  I began to care for this neighbor of mine that had - before this...been invisible.

The only 'crazy' thing about Betty was the size of compassion in her heart.  While tucked away in the nursing home, her constant concern was for the wild cats she had been providing love, food and compassion for - back at her home.  She also had two dogs that needed care.  It is not uncommon for the truly kind-hearted soul to turn away from those that take advantage - and turn towards the fulfilling love of the innocent.   This was Betty French.  Painful - and yet fulfilling, she cleaved to the memories of her 2 year old daughter that had drowned in a horrible accident ending her young and innocent life way too soon.  Betty longed for the painting of her daughter and the video tapes that had recorded her child's short life.  It was if being able to see and touch them soothed the hurt in her heart and brought some validation into her world.

Betty told me that she had really needed help for the last couple of years, because her strength had gone - due to weakening health.  She reported how things just seemed to snowball from bad to worse for her.  She shared stories of how she used to ride and rope with her horses.  She gleamed as she boasted about winning buckles and saddles - and once, won a rifle for getting the biggest buck in all of San Benito County one year.   As she cherished the memories of her past with me, I felt honored to be there listening to this tiny woman's huge stories of life.

Time went on and Betty began to regain her strength.  She soon started to recover and we became friends.  I found her to be a caring, sweet and loving woman - starved for affection and genuine friendship.  Betty had lived a pretty interesting life.   It was one paved with more hardships and sorrows than most.  However, it didn't seem to affect her openness to take the hand of friendship or welcome a good conversation about jewelry, horses, hunting or God help us all...the T.V. Shopping Channel, which was her favorite thing to watch.  I must admit, Betty French had the scoop, when it came to getting a good deal buying anything from the T.V.

Things improved for Betty.  She was able to go home and for over a year, she enjoyed the companionship and unwavering loyalty of a caretaker, named Roseanne.  She also regained and improved a closeness with her sister, Ellen.  Although it broke Betty's heart that another family member had put her two beloved dogs to sleep while she was in the nursing home, she found new love in a Yorkshire Terrier, named Bear.   Followed shortly after, by another she named Badger.  Betty claimed it was after one of the Old Growth Oaks Morgan horses.